


In My Time of Need

by Waddler



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Smut, Slow Burn, hurt comfort, plot heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-10-14 18:38:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17513840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waddler/pseuds/Waddler
Summary: In terms of mental health, they were both pretty fucked up. Neither of them really knew a time at which they didn’t feel alone; like… they were bearing the weight of the entire world on their shoulders.





	1. Eli

In terms of mental health, they were both pretty fucked up. Neither of them really knew a time at which they didn’t feel alone; like… they were bearing the weight of the entire world on their shoulders. They needed someone. Things would’ve been so much easier if they had only needed each other, but sometimes the person you open up to in a moment of vulnerability and a flash of passion and heartbreak isn’t the one you really need in your life, but they were both also incredibly stubborn. They weren’t just going to abandon each other; they had been through too much... yet time is cruel, and they both knew it. They couldn’t be together forever, so they’d make their time worth all they could make it, but you can only pack so much companionship into the human lifespan.

And Elijah, he was going to do it all if he had to perish to accomplish it. Nick was… Nick was all he had at times. When Lucifer thought he was too clingy (or at least, that’s what Eli’s anxiety told him), and he couldn’t find some random human to get his rocks off with, he was alone. He was stuck, in a void of pain, and drowning in all the horrid emotions that accompanied a panic attack. There weren’t many people that he trusted to bring him out of that. Right then, as he came back to himself from that horrible overwhelming and torturous place, was when he was at his most vulnerable.

He always needed someone or something to help him calm down. If it wasn’t sex or alcohol, then it was either Lucifer or Nick. Lucifer would hold him. He would accept the tears on the shoulder of his sweater even if it obviously annoyed him. Some part of Elijah, some very deep-down part knew that lucifer would do anything to keep him happy, but unrequited (romantic) feelings towards your boss who just so happens to also be the king of hell can really put a damper on a relationship, professional or otherwise. But the warmth and the closeness, it all just felt so goddamn good. He craved any sort of physical affection that he could get from Lucifer, no matter what he had to do to earn it. Luce just kept him calm. He made Eli feel happy. He always felt at home when they were together. And of course, Lucifer cared deeply about Eli as well, but in a completely opposite way. They had been together since before heaven’s favorite prince had fallen. Lucifer was Eli’s favorite angel. They were brothers, in a sense. And that’s exactly why luce could never look at him like he was anything more than that, even if it left gaping wounds in the two of them.

But when it came to Nick, well, he really did look at that mutated and lousy excuse of a human as a brother, but sometimes he really just needed more than that. With Nick, whenever he would come out of his panic attacks, he would find himself in the arms of one of very few people were actually taller than him. Now, Eli is no short man. His usual human form was a good 6’5, but Nick stood in at a solid 6’7, and he loved it. He loved the ability to be cradled and held and comforted. He loved feeling close and cared for. He loved every sensation that came with coming down from a panic attack in Nick’s arms: the buzz in his head making him feel nauseatingly dizzy, the fatigue digging at the back of his eyelids, the smell of leather and cheap cologne, mixed with the whiskey on his own breath. He was safe, he was comfortable, he was loved in a sense. He was home.

Eli was always in a drunken stupor mixed with a killer emotional high at this time, and he was so open and willing and always found himself locking lips with Nick, leaning up and whining desperately for some sort of sensation, for some sort of release of all the built up tension that was more effective than the sobbing, not that sobbing wasn’t super fucking effective. He felt warm, and it wasn’t just his own warmth, it was their warmth; an accumulated feeling of heat based of passion and the stinging of tears and the burning from the alcohol that had settled poorly in his stomach. This passion, this amazing, burning feeling fuels him as he yanks Nick down on top of him, and Nick goes with it. He feels like the other needs it as much as he does, but it may be out of pity that he goes along and fucks him into submission. He tries not to think about the latter option, and hopes it’s a mutual need for contact.

Either way, it helps, and regardless of whether it’s what his friend needs or not, he certainly does.

 


	2. Nick

Nick has had nightmares, _bad_ ones, for the entirety of his life. His sleep schedule is non existent and consists of trying to fight off the fatigue in order to avoid fighting the monsters inside of his head; to avoid confronting or reliving his past, a past which the term troubled doesn’t even come close to explaining it. A past of loneliness and running, of no one but him and his brother. A past of isolation, abandonment, exile.

He was abandoned by his father when he was 11, left to live with his brother on their own, to test their ‘abilities’. To see if they were strong enough to be deemed worthy by their worthless father. To see if they ‘deserved’ to remain alive. And if they didn’t, they would die on the streets, unwanted, unloved, forgotten. But nick was strong. He was and is a fighter. If it were him, if it had only been him, he would have let himself die a long time ago, but it wasn’t just him. He had his brother to look out for. His little brother, for whom he would do literally _anything_. And he did. He survived against all odds, finding food and money enough for two mutant orphans that nobody wanted nor needed.

It took 9 grueling years before their father finally tracked them down again with the help of a vampire named Fallacy (No, not based off of the literary element) whom he was working under at the time. They brought the boys in and naturally, Nicholas hated his father with a passion. He resented him with every ounce of his being. He avoided him at all costs, which didn’t work very wells since he was being forced to gain an entire high school and college education with little to no background and was made to spend his every waking moment studying. His only free time was spent with his brother who was taking things much easier than he was.

It took him 4 years to get a handful of masters’ degrees and a few doctorates. His father was immensely proud, but Nick… he couldn’t care less. All he cared about at that point was sex, and alcohol. Anything that would numb the pain, anything that would make all the memories go away. Anything. And of course, he got mixed in with some nasty types, and one of the baddest of the bad that he ran into was none other than, you guessed it, Elijah. They became close almost instantly on account of their mutual love of partying and getting so fucked up they could no longer remember their own names.

And Eli introduced Nick to a whole array of things to take his mind off the past, and of course, intercourse. One could easily call them fuck buddies, but no. They were too emotionally attached to each other to be just that. They were too invested. They were too close. Sometimes, they meant literally everything to each other. It was a fact that neither of them could deny. They needed each other, sometimes more so than others, and sometimes they could go without each other for days, but they always needed each other. And even though they knew it was wrong, they always wanted each other. They always took and gave everything they had when they were together, grinding against each other, skin to skin, body to body, mouth to mouth. They always give and take, desperate and needy.

Eli taught nick what it was truly like to have mind blowing and emotionally vulnerable sex. And Nick taught Eli what it was like to feel full and loved for a millisecond during orgasm, or possibly even for minutes at a time during the after glow as they laid panting and clinging to each other. They teach each other all sorts of things all the time. It’s how they work. They function like yin and yang, with their lives being black and dark, and their one true light consisting of two people each, Nick’s being Eli and his brother, Eli’s being Lucifer and nick.

They understood each other more than anyone else. They both felt that constant all encompassing black feeling of debilitating anxiety and depression. They both felt the intense need for closeness and compassion. They were both starved of a specific indescribably sort of affection that they found they could only get from each other. A sort of passionate pain, a shared moment of vulnerability that they needed to fill with someone just as empty inside as they were.

So, one would think it would be that easy, right? That they had each other, and that was okay. That they would be together now. But this story just wasn’t meant to have a happy ending. They were friends, they were close on a level that only the best of friends could reach, but they weren’t in love. They weren’t ‘meant to be’. As much as they tried, they could never be each other’s cure all. They would synchronize and harmonize in every way, their laughs, their cries, their moans, like their very souls were working in tandem, but they were somehow fitting themselves into places they fit, but didn’t belong. It’s like when a puzzle piece can fit in multiple places. It my work one spot, but that doesn’t’ mean that’s where it belongs. They worked perfectly together, but it wasn’t meant to be. All they’re managing for the time being, is to create the illusion of sweet sweet music, when in reality, all they would have to do is listen a little closer to realize they were so subtly but exponentially off key.


End file.
